6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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