Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
