The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
