so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
