Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
