seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Randomize
