hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
