Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
