I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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