How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
