She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
