We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize