i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
