That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
