The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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