I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
