Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
