it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
