He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
