what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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