it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
