Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
