I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
