yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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