He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize