thus making me awesome and them whores
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Pooping to opera.
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