I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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