My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
