even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
