Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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