I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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