i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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