We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
