my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
