we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
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