we're chasing vodka with high fives
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Randomize
