i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
