I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
