So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
