I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
