Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize