she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize