I hate all girls vehemently.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize