It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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