I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Randomize
