Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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