i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
