went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
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