i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I am naked and annoyed.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize