im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
