I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
