Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
