Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
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