he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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