So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
